Man, it’s not my week. Or month. Or something.

Yesterday I settled in to watch the NFL conference title games. In observance of customs established while I was in college, I proceeded to cook a big vat of spicy chili. Shortly after slicing the fresh jalapenos and dumping them into the pot, I felt the urge to….ahem… perform nasal passage explorations. Purely as a precationary measure, I assure you. And what I discovered is that jalapeno juice burns like a motherfucker!. I can’t emphasize that strongly enough. To make matters worse, burning nostrils cause one’s eyes to water. What do you think I did next? Thats right. And guess what? Contact lenses are jalapeno juice sponges. So yes, I confess. I am the world’s biggest loser. Though I’ve the good graces to laugh at myself. And share it with others. And the chili was very tasty, so in the end it was all worth it.